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Ida #16 A short text about choosing your friends, and being scared of toilets.

First: choose your friends carefully. If you are not careful, they will turn out to be complete overdramatic bitches. You don’t want that.

Second: I have since my friend (he is my friend now, having found each other again after 15 years) locked me into the toilet when I was 7, been scared of toilets. God, I remember when people in school managed to open the toilets when someone was inside. Peeing was bad enough, not to talk about people doing number two. Never happened to me, since I don’t use public toilets. If I really really had to go, I would let one friend guard outside. Just to be on the safe side.
Once I had a boyfriend in England. He lived with his brother, who in turn lived his life in front of the tv – just in front of the toilet. I had huge problems every time I was visiting. I was normally visiting him for at least 3 weeks, and up to 3 months at a time. Once I did not go for a poo for 8 days.

When I was doing a conservation biology course in Brazil, I was lucky enough to travel with a friend of mine, who completely understands my problem. We developed something called the mp3-pact, meaning that when one of us has to use the toilet, the other one listens to mp3. For some reason, it makes it easier to use the toilet when someone else is busy doing other things. We still use this little trick when we live together and it works great.

This summer I worked in the jungle every day – huge huge problem! The heat in that area during the summer (around 40 degrees) makes you drink a lot of water. That in turn makes you want to pee. But put down your ass near the ground in a jungle where there are about a billion snakes, spiders and insects (per m2)? I don’t think so. Had to hold it until I came home. Everyday was a new challenge. And some people understand this little issue of mine, most people laugh. I completely understand but silly as it is, fuck it gets me into a lot of problems sometimes. I have a trick though - to hide it for others and myself, I just talk a lot about poo. I am getting better. Soon I hope to have a normal relationship to toilets. And now I live alone and I have a toilet that works, saving me a lot of trauma. It is a blessing. I thank God everyday.

Thank you God for giving me a lovely family, wonderful friends, a healthy body, food, clean water, a relatively easy life (except from occasional knife-drama and some heart-ache now and then), and a toilet. Thank you for giving me a life with so little problems, I have room to worry about toilets. Thank you.

Text wasn't so short after all. Guess I needed to talk about it.

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