:D

- Should we?
- Fuck it, we, re young!

Julia - Eternal synopsis

You want to get saved by her,
get close to her,
tame her,
own her,
disect her carisma and magic.

And finally learn how to be like her.
But you are ashamed of these egoistic, parasitlike
intentions.
You are intimidated by her being,
and for each centimetre that you get closer to her you become more and more nervous.

Because she is so effortless, so real.
Because she is the opposite of everyone you know.

Time passes.

And you will achieve your goal eventually.
You will get close to her.
The two of you will create stories together.
Millions of stories.

And you will realize that your inner conflict can only be solved by her breakdown.

By you feeling superior, that you have the upper hand.

And that too happens.

But you will, stil and always, respect her too much to tell her that your roles have changed.

And in fact. They have not.

Because even when she will be down at the very bottom
and you will still have still have your position
somewhere in the safe middle

you will still remain the observer
and she the hero of the story.

Korean cafe

"In Korea, there are many types of cafes with diverse themes. Cafes are not just for drinking coffee and meeting people, but also for fun activities. For example, in a so-called 'Dress cafe', you can wear any dresses you want while you drink coffee or drinks. You can also take pictures. Boys can wear tuxedo in this kind of cafe. For a special celebration, you can go to a dress cafe and dress up like a bride and a groom (with your boyfriend). You can also rent a room in the dress cafe for just you and your boyfriend. In dress cafe you can also wear special clothes like old fashion school uniforms of Korea. There are lots of accessories, so you can match them with your clothes. There is cafe called 'Jail Cafe'. This cafe really looks like jail. You can have drinks in the prison. The clerk in jail cafe dresses up like police. You can also have fun with handcuffs, pistol and so on. In 'Cat or dog cafe', you can enjoy your drinks with cute dogs and cats. There are about 30 kinds of dogs and cats in this cafe. So if you want to see many kinds of dogs and cats, 'Cat and Dog cafe' would be nice to go. You can also bring your dogs or cats to the cafe. There is 'Cave Cafe' also. You can have drinks in cave. The cave is decorated with beautiful lights. Even though the cafe is in the real cave, there are no bats of course. 'Trompe-l'œil cafe' is really funny cafe. Trompe-l'œil is Franch word which means trick. There are lots of funny realistic paintings in this kind of cafe. If you take pictures in front of the paintings, it really looks like you are in that paintings. There are famous painter's paintings like Pablo Ruiz Picasso. In 'Board game cafe', you can play any kind of board game you can imagine. And, 'Hello Kitty Cafe' is a cafe for those who love Hello Kitty. You can enjoy Kitty Cake which looks like Kitty, and cafe latte in a Kitty cup.
[edit]"

Martynka Wawrzyniak

Chocolate, 2010 from MARTYNKA WAWRZYNIAK on Vimeo.

Lust, desire, performance, endurance, a bad joke on a very boring day, subordination, torture, chocolate.

... Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon…I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake ...

Aleksandra # - My favourite means of motion

This is not a very important statement in any way, but I love trains. So much classier than riding a wonky city bike home from the club or a third-class seat in a low-cost rienair flight. I never met the love of my life onboard or witnessed a murder on the Midnight Express or anything like that, but I heart the beauty of banal travel details. The odd co-passengers, saints and sinners, newspaper readers, egg eaters, doggies on the way to the sea. The smell of coal when you pass an industrial town (or cabbage near Korsnäs paper factory, welcome home to Gävle). The sound of speed as we accelerate through never-ending meadows and sudden night in the tunnel. The modern dandy listening to sorrowful 80ies ballads a bit too loud and you can only imagine the kind of person broke his heart. Godforsaken idyll where some older ladies get off at a station with rusty signs. Ajaccio-Bastia that felt like a roller coaster, ride interrupted by sheep resting on the rails. Changing trains in the middle of nowhere in Morocco on a star-spangled night. Having the compartment all to ourselves. Or sharing it with an obese Ukrainian who snored through the night so I could enjoy the sunrise on the nighttrain from Ivanofrankivsk to Kyiv. Life in a dining-car - pretty good title for a memoir?







Freeze frames from the film "Pociąg" by Jerzy Kawalerowicz

Julia # - Etcetera

Tuesday evening, I had a skype date with a close friend I hadn't seen for a while. Now we both had a strong urge to talk. My friend had just met someone. I could tell it was serious. We had earlier both been victims of falling in love with complicated souls that promised understanding and willingness to share problems and turn loneliness into... I don't know... fun! Anyway, these were promises that never got to be fulfilled as they, the objects of our feelings had themselves to be saved first and frankly - neither my friend nor I were very good at saving people; quite the opposite.

So the conversation began. Soon enough, after my fiend had told me all about this fantastic new person and all her assets and great sides (I was half-listening, I had heard these stories before, every love story starts in a similar way) we started to discuss the ideal woman. She was beautiful of course, but that was so obvious it hardly had to be mentioned. And besides, beauty is something so easy manipulated it can't constitute a serious criterion.

I said - my woman is... me. We're interchangeable, always wanting to know more about each other, my ideal woman is memorizing my freckles, she sees solar systems in my birthmarks, and I analyze secret codes in what she mumbles when she talks in her sleep. My ideal woman always wants to be close to me, to be my saviour, although she'll keep telling me I'm the one saving her. My ideal woman is the opposite of loneliness; she's the second half, the very essence of support. My ideal woman is a babushka that carries me inside her, that is encapsulated by me, and I am swallowed by her and I carry her on the inside of my ribs.
- That is ridiculous! my friend interrupts me. I can see in the web cam he has started to prepare his dinner while I was holding my speech. You're not looking for a partner, you're looking for someone to fill the void inside of you, he states and continues: the ideal woman is not someone who solves all your problems. You're looking for some kind of life solution in your woman. Those things should be done through the help of a psychologist! I'm pretty sure that my ideal woman will create even more problems in my life; she'll stir everything around and replace all parameters with chaos.
- So you're not looking for someone to share everything with? I ask.
- Of course I do, he says. But not for an extension of myself. Quite the opposite, I want a lover, travel buddy, cell mate, and best friend. Someone judging my life from the outside, respecting it but offering alternatives through her own behaviour. Someone so independent that it hurts, someone that I will never feel that I own, someone who will always surprise me as she is thinking in different schemes than I, someone screaming at me, fighting with me, teaching me things, learning from me, together we'll reach new levels, combining our strengths, focusing on each others strong sides. But not melting into one person, that sounds ... unhealthy. Scary, terrifying even!
- But that's the point! I reply. You won't find the ideal partner without risking anything! And once you find her - and once she finds you - you will both live with your feelings on the outside. That's the most beautiful thing people can do.

And then just like that, I lost the internet connection. But I'm quite sure the discussion will continue.

Julia # - Paul de Vree

Originally a poet, then turned into an artist. Avant-garde literary theoretician.

(I would love to be described exactly like that )

Julia # - THIS IS BERLIN

Late summer of 2010

Aleksandra - Everything I can wish for a summer night in Antwerp

JULIA -The Y -generation

I got this text published in a magazine made by the French- American School in Paris.

Desirous of everything at the same time.
I say, without the fear to generalize,
- is that the zeitgeist of our generation?

Desirous of everything at the same time.
Because I'm sure it's not only me
being hit, every now and then,
by a feeling
that I want so much,
so much more than this.
I want to make mama happy,
but I need to do things that make mamas unhappy.

I want to create, change, break out, go further
and get drunk on Saturday nights,
and sometimes on Thursdays too
and understand this family heritage of mine.
And celebrate this discovery with a lot of dancing at empty clubs,
and get myself a huge dog with a human face and intelligent eyes
and we'll respect each other mutually.
And much more still.

I want to do everything, met everyone and live everywhere, at least for a little while.

And for every place I get to know, and love and leave
my heart and head fills with stories that I'll never be able to tell my grand children
because these are not stories that should be told by a grandma
and as strangers become lovers and friends
my phone bill just gets bigger
I’m sure that my generation makes more long distance calls then ever before.

And me and my generation wants to live in the future,
the past
and the present
all three in one second
We’re so well documented that not having a camera, iphone, facebook is a statement.
(That’s troublesome for a girl like me who loses a lot )

Desire, realization, documentation.

And of course we realize that our youth won’t last forever,
and of course we know that one day we'll have to pay for all the cigarettes we've smoked, being perfectly aware of the danger
But that's what makes us beautiful, the Y generation.
We know that cigarettes kill and buy another pack of those big red cheap ones.
We've seen all the failed love stories on film but still can’t help falling, breaking and trying again.
We got it all and we want even more.
Desirous of everything at the same time.
That’s us. The Y-generation.


Still, in somewhere between step one and five – it’s exactly the same as it always has been.
My mother told me yesterday that I should chose the music I listen to now with great care, because the music you listens to in your twenties will follow you and become the soundtrack of your life.
And our children too will carry pictures of us as young in their wallets and say
‘look, this is my mum in her twenties, wasn’t she beautiful?’
And they, like us, won’t understand what happened since those photos were taken.

In a way everything remains the same, because
time and patterns are unfamiliar with changes.
And we, just like our parents, will never grow old
We'll just get older
And continue our lives,
always carrying our memories with us, like loaded guns .

So I say this for the last time
without the fear to generalize

Desirous of everything at the same time,
missing nothing,
wanting it all.
Is that the zeitgeist of our generation?
Or just of youth in general?

Ida # No idea, Don't think twice, it's alright

Luften är tjock av värme av högsommar av kärlek av sol av att gå barfota av att ligga bredvid en människa som just lärt sig säga jävla av att dricka öl i kvällsolen av att tjuvröka på balkongen av att okynnessova av dig och dig och dig och alla andra av allt.